A Speculative Analysis: Cowboy Football Players Have Huge Balls.




After three games of the college football season, it has become apparent that the Pokes seem to have something slowing them down and affecting their ability to play the game of football.  Many fans and outside spectators have observed a noticeable difference in the speed and agility of the Wyoming players compared to their first three opponents.  "They look kinda slow" said one Lander, WY native, "like they're carryin some extra weight."  According to another Wyoming Cowboy fan at Saturdays game at War Memorial Stadium against Boise State, the Pokes "look like their thinkin with their balls out there!"

It's no secret that Wyoming has played a very tough schedule so far with another challenge coming up this week against the Air Force Academy.   Playing a tough schedule like that, in many cases, has led to enlarged testicles.  In the case of the Wyoming Cowboys, while there has been measurable growth, the overall change in testicle size has been significant but not staggering because of the very large size of the Cowboys' testicles before the start of the season.  "We've always had big balls"  said a former Cowboy player, "and sometimes they get in the way."  Many studies have shown that oversized testicles can not only hinder a players' speed and agility, but they also have an effect on the intuition of the player.  In certain situations, a player with oversized testicles tends to let go of personal protection for the team.  This case was on display in Austin, TX when Wyoming quarterback, Austyn Carta-Samuels put his personal protection on the line in the first quarter by taking on a Texas Defensive back with his head to gain a first down.  In this instance, ACS's efforts were not rewarded because the home-town official gave the Pokes a home-town spot because said official has undersized testicles. 

 As the statistics and the scoreboard have not been particularly kind to the Pokes, the Wyoming football team can be proud of one very important statistic:  The size of their balls.  If Wyoming continues to challenge the best, they will eventually BEAT the best.  Because they have HUGE balls.  Let 'er Buck!

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